Why "Just Network More" Is Terrible Advice (And 7 Better Alternatives)
By Jennie Hays, Beyond Mindset Mentor | Updated January 2026
About the Author: Jennie Hays specializes in helping introverted coaches, therapists, and heart-led entrepreneurs build businesses that align with their nervous systems. With expertise in mindset work and marketing strategy, she's supported hundreds of professionals in creating sustainable growth without traditional networking.
Traditional networking events don't work for everyone. If you experience social anxiety, deep introversion, or neurodivergence, forcing yourself to "just network more" doesn't create growth — it creates resistance, shame, and burnout.
I've worked with hundreds of coaches, therapists, and heart-led entrepreneurs. And what I see over and over is this: when someone forces themselves into networking strategies that fight their natural wiring, the business doesn't expand — it stalls.
There are better ways to build relationships. They just look different from what most advice tells you to do.
Key Takeaways
Traditional networking advice assumes extroversion and can actively harm introverts, neurodivergent professionals, and people with social anxiety
Relationship-building is essential, but the method must match your energy and nervous system
Seven effective networking alternatives exist that don't require in-person events
Content can act as networking, but it requires patience and consistency (6–12 months minimum)
Even with the right strategy, internal blocks like perfectionism or imposter syndrome can stop execution
The Problem With Traditional Networking Advice
You've heard it a thousand times: Network. Go to events. Work the room. Build relationships.
That advice works beautifully — for extroverts who gain energy from social interaction.
But for many professionals, it creates the opposite effect.
When I worked with hundreds of coaches, therapists, and heart-led entrepreneurs, I noticed a consistent pattern. People who forced themselves to attend traditional networking events often left feeling:
Drained
Inadequate
Behind
Or like they were "doing business wrong"
Some stopped going altogether and then beat themselves up for "self-sabotaging."
That's not a mindset issue. It's a mismatch.
When Traditional Networking Causes Harm
Forcing an introvert into weekly in-person networking is like forcing a night owl to be productive at 5 AM.
Yes, you can do it physically. But the energy cost is so high that you can't do the actual work that matters — serving clients, creating content, following through on opportunities.
The issue isn't motivation or commitment.
It's being asked to build relationships in a way that directly conflicts with how your system operates.
"You're not broken. You're being given advice that doesn't fit your wiring."
7 Networking Alternatives That Actually Work
Relationships still matter. You just don't have to build them in rooms that exhaust you.
1. One-on-One Connections
Skip the crowd. Choose the person.
Short coffee chats or video calls allow depth without performance. In practice, I've seen fewer intentional conversations outperform dozens of surface-level interactions.
Timeline: Immediate to 3 months
Best for: People who prefer depth over volume
2. Online Communities
Private groups and forums allow you to engage at your own pace. You can think before responding. No small talk required.
The rule: contribute without pitching. When you're genuinely helpful, people come to you.
Timeline: 6–12 months
Best for: Thoughtful writers and long-game thinkers
3. Content as Connection
Your content can do the networking for you.
When it's clear and consistent, people self-select in — without you chasing them.
This works exceptionally well for people who communicate better through teaching than spontaneous conversation.
Timeline: 6–18 months
Best for: Writers, educators, video communicators
4. Strategic Partnerships
Identify 5–10 professionals who already serve your ideal client.
Go deep. Build trust. Become referable.
This approach quietly outperforms most other networking strategies — especially for introverts.
Timeline: 2–6 months
Best for: Relationship-focused professionals
5. Email and Direct Messaging
Some of my strongest professional relationships started entirely in writing.
Thoughtful emails and DMs allow clarity and consent — no pressure to perform in real time.
Timeline: 6–12 months
Best for: Strong written communicators
6. Virtual Networking Events
Virtual platforms allow connection without physical presence.
In my experience, structured events like Alignable Smart Connects work best because expectations are clear and time-limited.
I go in curious, not pitching. I listen. I connect people. That's it.
Timeline: Immediate connections; 1–3 months for referrals
Best for: People okay with short video interactions
7. Asynchronous Networking Spaces
Some platforms allow participation on your schedule. You engage when you have energy and step back when you don't.
That flexibility matters more than most people admit.
Timeline: 3–9 months
Best for: Fluctuating energy, overwhelm, busy seasons
Why Strategy Alone Isn't Enough
Here's the piece most advice leaves out:
Some people choose the right strategy — and still can't implement it.
That's not a strategy problem.
I've seen clients select approaches that fit them perfectly and still freeze. Once we addressed the underlying block, action followed immediately.
The strategy didn't change. Their ability to execute did.
Real Examples From My Practice
The "I'm bothering them" block:
One client knew online networking and strategic partnerships fit her perfectly. She had the list. She had the time. But every time she thought about reaching out, her body said no.
When we uncovered a childhood wound around feeling like a burden, everything shifted. We reframed networking as building a referral team to help other professionals. She reached out to three people that week.
The perfectionism block:
Another client chose content as her networking method. She had time. She wasn't in a rush. But she'd write posts and never publish them.
There was an invisible fence around her visibility. Once we processed the freeze response in one session, she started posting immediately — and attracted clients through her content within weeks.
The imposter syndrome block:
A coach with 20 years of experience couldn't engage in online communities. She kept asking, "Who am I to comment? I'm not a doctor. I'm not an expert."
Once we addressed that block and she recognized her legitimate expertise, her visibility increased dramatically without attending a single networking event.
How to Choose Your Networking Approach
Review the seven alternatives and pick three that feel doable, not impressive.
If you feel energized, implement them.
If you feel hesitation, dread, or shutdown — that's information. It points to where something deeper is getting in the way.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes — but not the way you've been told. You need to build relationships to grow your business. You just don't need to do it through traditional networking events. Choose methods that match your energy and nervous system instead of forcing yourself into rooms that drain you.
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Content as connection requires patience. Expect 6–12 months before people start reaching out consistently. Building a full practice through content alone typically takes 12–18 months of consistent, strategic publishing. This is a long-game strategy, not a quick fix.
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Strategic partnerships and one-on-one connections typically produce the fastest results — often within 2–6 months. Virtual networking events can generate immediate connections, with referrals materializing within 1–3 months. These approaches give you relationship depth without the energy drain of large events.
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If you understand which strategies would work for you but consistently can't implement them, you likely have an underlying block. Common signs include procrastination, perfectionism that prevents publishing, feeling like you're bothering people, or questioning your expertise despite years of experience. The strategy makes sense — but your body won't let you execute it.
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No — but you can absolutely build one without traditional networking events. Relationship-building is essential for business growth. However, you have many options beyond walking into rooms full of strangers. Choose alternatives that align with your personality, energy levels, and how you naturally communicate.
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If you've selected strategies that fit you but still can't implement them, the issue isn't the strategy — it's an internal block. This often shows up as freeze responses, perfectionism, fear of being seen, or beliefs about bothering people. These blocks need to be addressed directly before any networking strategy will work sustainably.
Related Resources
Blog: Why Selling Feels So Scary (and How to Shift Into Confidence)
Blog: Success Mindset Through Brainspotting: Release Your “Not Good Enough” Story
Free Training: Learn what marketing coaches need in 2026 and what to do when knowing isn’t enough to do it.
Final Thought
You don't need to network more.
You need relationship-building strategies that don't require you to override your system every time you try.
You're not broken. You're not lazy. You're not behind.
You've just been given advice that doesn't fit — and that can change.
